My Best SHIFT

S5:E4: Stop Playing Small AND Bet On Yourself (with Chenise Upshur)

• Hosted By: Chantée Christian • Season 5 • Episode 4

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In this episode of the My Best Shift Podcast, host Chantée L. Christian sits down with Chenise Upshur, founder of Cornerstone Coaching and Consulting, to discuss her journey from corporate strategist to thriving entrepreneur.

Chenise shares what fueled her decision to step away from the stability of her corporate career and build a business rooted in leadership development. Together, they explore the challenges of self-promotion, the power of storytelling in personal growth, and why leadership is about more than just a title—it’s about influence, self-awareness, and the courage to evolve.

If you’ve ever wondered “What if I just tried?”, this episode is your sign to take action. Listen in and be inspired to step into your next level of leadership with confidence and authenticity!

Connect with Chenise via LinkedIn | Instagram.

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Chantée Christian:

hey, Chenise, how you doing today.

Chenise Upshur:

I'm doing well. How are you?

Chantée Christian:

I'm doing okay. I'm doing okay. But before we get too far into our conversation, why don't you tell the people a little bit about yourself?

Chenise Upshur:

Yes, Chenise Upshur, I live outside of Nashville, tennessee. I've got an amazing 14-year-old little boy and I am the founder of Cornerstone Coaching and Consulting, where I get to work with aspiring leaders every day and be a part of their leadership journey.

Chantée Christian:

Awesome, awesome. Now I will have to say you say little boy, and all of these years I thought that he was like I don't know my height, and anyone that knows me or has seen me in person knows I'm like five one and a half. He is like 12 feet tall.

Chenise Upshur:

Not quite. So we went for his sports physical over the summer and he was five foot four and I'm only five foot two, and so that has led to some fun conversations a little, you know, poking at short mom, all of that kind of stuff. So, yes, he's not really little anymore. I tried to race him a little bit back and I lost. Yeah, he's growing by leaps and bounds.

Chantée Christian:

He's a good kid, he's a good kid, and he's the tallest 5'4 I've ever seen. Okay, yes.

Chenise Upshur:

He may have grown a little bit more since the summer. I would not put it past him I think so.

Chantée Christian:

I do, I really do think so. I love this. So tell us more about your business, what you do and how you got there.

Chenise Upshur:

Yeah, so kind of an interesting journey.

Chenise Upshur:

I had the opportunity in my previous corporate job where I worked with coaches, so folks who were kind of taking assistant manager roles, and got to help them as they progress to management and did some other things after that and honestly, that is my favorite thing that I've ever done really getting to work with individuals who have said, hey, I've done great as an individual contributor, I want to lead others, you know, help me on that path.

Chenise Upshur:

And really getting to take the time to understand you know what skill sets do they need to develop on, you know how do they connect with others, things along that line and really working with them on that one-to-one basis, and I loved doing that so much. I tried to parlay that into a full-time position with the company and when that didn't work out, I said, you know what, let me go do this myself who want to become a leader and maybe just are missing one or two things. How awesome would it be to get to be a part of their journey, of their stories and ensure that as many people out there have a fantastic leader supporting them. And so for me that was really kind of my mindset, my vision, when I created Cornerstone and yeah, that's kind of the story of how it came to be.

Chantée Christian:

I love this because I think that there's so much power in understanding and realizing, like, what's really your jam, and it sounds to me like you figured that out while you were in corporate. And I know that we have a lot of people that listen to our podcast, that are still working a nine to five, which I want anyone to hear me say. There is no shade there, like I say it often. But sometimes I still sit and be like what's over there on the good LinkedIn because of the consistency of knowing what's coming Right. What was, what was some of your determining factors?

Chantée Christian:

On, like, making your jump, I know you said you know you tried to make that a full time job and you were like, okay, it's not going to work, let me do it on my own. A lot of times and I'm I'm a little bit feeding, you're feeding you this, but, um, a lot of times when we're in positions and we're like you know what I'm not getting, what I need, or something is changing, let me go to a new company. But what for you was like, let me, let me just jump out here and do something on my own.

Chenise Upshur:

I think it was kind of interesting because I had kind of gotten to the point to where the part of not even my job but the parts of my day that I did like for fun and extra was what I enjoyed doing the most. So in my role before I left corporate, I was a strategist and so my job was figuring out you know, how do we get things, you know products, to market, how do we grow our footprint, things along that aspect. And then within that I had so many people that were still coming to me and saying how do I become a leader? How do I improve my leadership skills, how do I improve my net promoter score amongst my team, things along that nature. And that wasn't necessarily my job description, but it was what I enjoyed doing the most.

Chenise Upshur:

And a long, long time ago I was in this conference and we were talking about how do you decide what to do next? And somebody said hey, take a piece of paper, split it down the middle, put a smiley face on one side, a frowny face on the other side, and, as the day goes by, the things that you enjoy doing, and you find yourself smiling while you do, put on that left side of the column, the things that you're kind of like shake your head, you're like, oh, you roll your eyes and you have to do, put on the right side of the column. And what I was finding out was that everything that I was putting on the left side of the column weren't necessarily things that were part of my quote unquote job descriptions, but were the things that absolutely brought me all the joy in the world. And so, when I had the opportunity to either stay in my current role or move into a different position, I decided that that would be a great time to just walk away and really give this thing a try.

Chenise Upshur:

And I remember talking to somebody and said you know, even if it doesn't end up as amazing as I hope that it will, I feel like I'm going to be, you know, looking back 10 years later and say, dang it.

Chenise Upshur:

What if I just tried? And so you know I really had to decide. Was it worth me? You know quote unquote betting on myself to say, dang it. What if I just tried? And so you know I really had to decide. Was it worth me? You know, quote unquote betting on myself to say, let me go do the thing that constantly brings me joy, that I love doing the most, that I'm really really good at, or try to make it work doing something else and I definitely could have made it work doing something else, but I knew for me what was really driving me. What really made me excited to get out of bed every day, was seeing leaders develop, seeing leaders progress in their career and figure out what leadership meant to them, and so being able to focus solely on that. When it changed it for the world, it changed it for the world.

Chantée Christian:

Oh, I love this. Okay, so if I got the exercise right, cause I want to make sure we don't miss that- Cause. I'm like shit, where's my pen and paper so that I can write this down? Okay, so, just so that I make sure that I'm not missing it. So we take a piece of paper and we fold it in half or we split it in half it.

Chenise Upshur:

So we take a piece of paper and we fold it in half or we split it in half and on one side we write down all the things like throughout the day, whatever side, a frowning face on the right side, and then as you go throughout your day, through your week, anytime you do something or you get asked to do something, you're like, yes, I get to sit with another person and help them. You know, have a leadership conversation, that goes on the left side, everything you put on the right side oh, dang it, I have to format another Excel spreadsheet Right. That goes on the right side and you just go through and it helps kind of visualize what are all the things that I did this week that brought me joy, because sometimes we sit there and we just say, oh, I really like doing this and it's like, ok, but in a moment, like what was your emotion?

Chenise Upshur:

when you had to do it, so yeah, that's always been really helpful in clarifying things for me.

Chantée Christian:

I like that. I like that a lot. I typically do something a little bit different, but I love that I do. I'm like, hmm, how can I modify this and add this into my practice? Because I think that a lot of times you and I have talked about this before, but a lot of times people don't realize that leadership doesn't also include your title, include your title, but it's how you're showing up in your organization, at home, in the spaces that you're in and that you occupy, and so I think that it's important to really highlight how important it is and how vital it is to understand that even doing an exercise like that is one that demonstrates leadership of self.

Chenise Upshur:

Yeah, and in my previous role in corporate, where my role was within the strategy organization, I didn't have employees underneath me right? So I technically wasn't a quote unquote leader, quote unquote manager. But I kind of adopted this statement and I think it's from Bill Gates, where it's leaders are those who empower others. And so, you know, even though I didn't have leader in my title or manager in my title, people in the business were still calling me leader. They were asking me to come speak as you know a leadership expert, and all of these different things. And it's like, okay, speak as you know, a leadership expert, and all of these different things. And it's like, okay, yeah, I don't have people underneath me, but I still am more than capable of empowering others. So, regardless of what my title says, regardless of the fact that there aren't people that you know roll up to me in my HR or work day or whatever that the platforms are, I still am a leader because I still am providing valuable insight to others.

Chantée Christian:

Yes, and I would even go as far as to say you're a leader because you are literally leading yourself and you have influence, right. So, like if we were to think about it, who would you say is one of the top leaders that come to mind to you? Y'all didn't just see her face. I feel like we had a deja vu moment just now.

Chenise Upshur:

Oh gosh, there's this. So, when you asked me that, the first person that paused my mind there was a second person. When the first person that paused my mind was my mom.

Chantée Christian:

Um, she had and that may sound a little, you know, untraditional, but, um, for those who don't know, I'm the oldest of 10 kids, so to see her guiding and empowering 10 other individuals, yes, we were, you know, young when we started I mean, but can we, just before you go any further, can we just give your mom I wish, I wish this was a point where I had like a very interactive podcast where we could just like clap for her because WTF, bringing the little background sound of applause or something.

Chantée Christian:

The crowd goes wild Like okay, I'm sorry, go ahead, cause I'm like 10 kids.

Chenise Upshur:

But yeah, I mean there's, there's 10 of us. You know she homeschooled all of us and I'm I'm the oldest, I'm about to be 39, I think. So you know we've got this whole range of individuals and even now as an, as an adult, she still empowers me, encourages me to be better, you know, holds me accountable, pushes me, and does that with all of my siblings. So, you know, when you think about a team, you know most teams have like nine people on them, like. So you know, when you think about a team, you know most teams have like nine people on them, like all right, she's got 10, you know, plus grand now. So when I think of somebody as a leader, under that idea of somebody who empowers others, helps them reach their full potential, you know, pulls that greatness out of them when they don't even realize that there's greatness there, like I think of her.

Chantée Christian:

I think of her, yeah, yeah, it's not even mother's day I know I'm like you go, mom right, I'm like damn when it's mother's day, because we got to make sure that maybe this one is the one that comes out on mother's day because I mean good gracious, I mean. I think that that's really dope, though, and I think that it's it's true.

Chenise Upshur:

it's a true testament to motherhood and the work that's put into it right, because they do a lot you all do a lot right and you sacrifice, and a lot of times, the people that you're sacrificing for don't realize it until much later, which is a hell of a testament to leadership in organizations, right yeah, and I think another thing with leadership that sometimes people gloss over is you have to be willing to be humble, in the sense that the moment you feel that you know it all, you can't learn, you can't grow, your team becomes stagnant and as a leader, there's so many things that I've learned from my team.

Chenise Upshur:

I remember, you know, when I had my first team and I would have moments where my team would come and they would give me feedback, give me critique, and they would say it and they would kind of be like, oh, you know how is she going to accept it. And I'd run over and I like me feedback, give me critique, and they would say it and they would kind of be like, oh, you know how is she going to accept it. No-transcript learning, so that I had fresh things that I could bring back to the team. And I think a lot of times that that gets glossed over as well when it comes to leadership.

Chantée Christian:

Yeah, oh, you're touching on something about humility and so I'm curious. I had done a book club. I hosted a book club on in February and bragging and boasting of ourselves and the women that were in this space with me were partners at firms and, like you know, we weren't talking about people who had just started out and the common thread that I heard amongst those leaders was that I heard amongst those leaders was that we women are not taught that telling the facts about ourselves is not being boastful, is not lacking humility is not not being humble not be lacking humility it's not not being humble, however, our male counterparts.

Chantée Christian:

Sometimes it's like did you even do that? Did you go to that school, like what the hell are you talking about? Where we won't tell people exactly what we've done? Yeah, how have you personally worked through that?

Chenise Upshur:

Um, to your point, it's definitely been a challenge, like I'm not going to sit here and say that it hasn't been. I think for me. I came to a point where in my one of my roles I did a lot of interviewing. So I was probably interviewing about 25 to 30 people every single quarter, right, so every three months, and in that it was interesting because, to your point, this is exactly what I saw. Like I saw the males, you know, talking about every single thing that they've done, making sure that their accomplishments were in bright, shining light. I would have you know. Then I would see the reverse of that, where I would see others. They would start to maybe say an accomplishment and then they would back off and say, like you know, I don't wanna come off as bragging Like they would put all of these disclaimers before they said anything and they would touch on it and then they kind of run away from their accomplishments. And it was always interesting because I could see the way that the other people that were in those interviews with me, how they saw those employees. And so I think from that viewpoint it was interesting because I kind of got to the point where I was like you know what. No one else is going to be excited about my accomplishments unless I am, and I got to see that play out in real time for almost three years, where every single month, I'm interviewing these people and just seeing the different ways that my other interviewees were interacting with them.

Chenise Upshur:

And so I think that that's what has really shaped my approach to it, and not being scared, not be afraid to talk about my accomplishments, because at the end of the day, you know if we're talking to a hiring manager.

Chenise Upshur:

The only way that you know if Chantée the hiring manager, the only way that Chantée going to know about my awesome accomplishments, is if I tell her.

Chenise Upshur:

The only way that you're going to know how great they are is if I talk about them with greatness, with pride, with the level of excitement that I had when I accomplished them. If I say, oh yeah, I own my own business, and then I run away from that statement, you're going to think you know, well, is she even excited about that? Was that really an accomplishment? Versus if I, you know, quote, unquote say it with my chest, you're going to have a whole different viewpoint of the statements that I make. So just, I think, seeing that, like I said, for literally three years, has really shaped in my mind the idea that a hiring manager is. Whether it's a hiring manager, whether it's you know a board you're trying to get on, whether it's you know a project you're trying to be a part of, those individuals aren't going to be excited about your accomplishments if you aren't excited about them and if you aren't able to articulate your excitement about them. So that's that would be my piece of advice around that.

Chantée Christian:

Yeah, that's interesting, cause I think that, like I'll speak for myself, I would say some things, but then some things I wouldn't say and so, depending on who was around, would find out certain things, and for me it was well, I don't trust them with that information. Well, what will they do when they find out? And then it started to, just like with anything else, get on my nerves. Like I'm like when someone would be like I'll be sitting in a group of people and somebody would be like, oh yeah, I've been researching. When someone would be like I'll be sitting in a group of people and somebody would be like, oh yeah, I've been researching on how to start podcasts. And I would be sitting there, like are you kidding me right now? Like you're researching, like are you saying, are you trolling me? You know, but I'm like, do they know that I have an award winning podcast?

Chenise Upshur:

Right, and so it's like OK, they know that I have an award winning podcast, right.

Chantée Christian:

And so it's like, ok, how do I show up and still be able to say I'm fully me and the things that I've done, accomplished, achieved. All those accolades and things are also a part of who I am, but they don't make me right and they also don't make me some boastful, crazy person Like right Right. Something I shared with the women in that book club was for for those that believe in Christianity or just have a knowing of Jesus right, jesus was our example of humble, and yet he spoke facts everywhere he went. He was never boastful right Now, people around him they might've been a little off kilter, but he himself he didn't. He had some hype men, for sure, but he always spoke facts.

Chantée Christian:

And so one of the things that I work with my clients with is to make a list of the facts. So you call them accomplishments, but a lot of times people are shy away from that word as well, just because of the weight of it Right, and so I like to call them facts, like if we're doing a fact check, let's do some facts Right, and in the facts we're also having a column of truth, not truth, which is how we're getting our facts Right, and so a not truth would be I am the best author that ever walked the earth. That is not true, right, that is lacking all truth, all humility, all the things A truth slash. Fact is I am a two time international best selling author. That's a fact. And then the tricky part comes. I have to get all your facts together, write a new bio and get some and then get someone to read it to you. Oh, how that changes your perspective.

Chantée Christian:

Because when you hear someone talk about you, then what happens it's and that part is where the work is right. It's easy to say all the things that you've done in private on your sticky or on your notebook or in your notepad or in your tablet, but when you hear someone start rattling off the things to you, what happens? What are the feelings that you have? What are the emotions? How's your chest tighten up? How do you start wiggling in your chair? I'll never forget the first time I heard someone read me my non-corporate bio. I was like who the hell are they talking about? Who's this stranger? It's like whew, is that me? Yeah, at least I kind of got like a little bashful, if I'm being honest, because I was like, ooh, I can't let people know all those things at one time, like you're going to read that to everyone.

Chenise Upshur:

Let's cut that down some. We got to spoon feed this to people, yeah.

Chantée Christian:

Yeah, it's interesting. It's interesting, it is is so. I'm curious because one thing that you didn't mention in your bio is that you are, by the time this comes out, you will have been a published author yes, yes and you would have been in what I will say. Okay, this is, you know my truth and non-truths, but it's a it's a small T, true for me One of the best books of the year so far.

Chenise Upshur:

There we go.

Chantée Christian:

And I'm curious about your experience, as you are thinking about being a mom. A new entrepreneur in this entrepreneur space, entrepreneurial space and now soon to be will be is joining me in the club of bestselling authors. What in the world?

Chenise Upshur:

I don't even know. I don't even. It's a lot, a lot of really great things. I am beyond ecstatic for this. And the interesting thing and I don't even know if I told you kind of like the of solidified you know what it was that I wanted to do, decided to leave corporate, started my own business and then I think I had like written up like my articles of incorporation and then Chantée reached out to me and was like hey, do you want to be part of this project? And I was like too many new things, too many new things.

Chenise Upshur:

So in the moment, like it was so overwhelming just because it was a lot with that, but I'm kind of like looking at it, I was like, you know, I felt like I was in a space where I had so many really great stories to talk through and share with the broader audience that that had been like clamoring for a space to get out, clamoring for a space to get out. And I didn't even realize until I sat down and started working on it. And the interesting thing was I sat down and in my mind I was like here's this amazing moment of awareness that I would love to share with the people, like I think everybody can relate with. And I started writing and I was like, okay, it doesn't make sense unless I share this other really great moment of awareness that happened before. And I started writing and then I was like, no, no, this, even this one, still doesn't make sense unless I go back even further and share this. You know other great moment of awareness.

Chenise Upshur:

So it was actually my third, my third attempt of sitting down before I finally kind of locked on what it was that I wanted to share with this audience and just the process of sitting down, kind of working through that, deciding not only what it was that I wanted to share but how I wanted my voice to be represented and ultimately, what I wanted people to take away from it was something that I'd never really kind of had to go through with that much intentionality before. So, yeah, that was that level. Bringing that level of intention to my storytelling was definitely a new venture for me, but one that I thoroughly enjoyed. And you're making faces, Chantée. So what are these faces?

Chantée Christian:

I am making so many faces um so.

Chenise Upshur:

I know you guys can't see them, but she's over here making faces.

Chantée Christian:

I mean, I am making faces, so it's funny you say this. Um, so March 14th is National Write your Story Day. Okay, I think a lot of people have so many pieces and so many stories and I think that this process has helped them refine how to deliver their story and so I'm just like, oh, what can we do with that?

Chantée Christian:

So, unfortunately for our listeners, they're hearing me think in the moment and you're seeing me nod in the moment, and they will benefit from whatever it is that my brain hits me with in the process. But I think that I want to thank you for sharing that, because I think that it's more than just telling a story. I think that it's more than just telling a story. It's accepting and realizing where you've come and in order to do that, you got to go back.

Chenise Upshur:

Yep.

Chantée Christian:

Right, and it's not to say you're dwelling on where you were. However, it's a full acknowledgement of where you were to where you are, and there's so much power in that, so much power in that. Um, I tell people all the time there's a Chantée of old and then there's a Chantée of now, Chantée of old, a little different.

Chantée Christian:

You know it was long before therapy, long before coaching, long before you know everything's great, there's no, there's no right or wrong, long before any of that. And the thing I love about Chantée of old is that when I need her she shows up, but she shows up refined, because I know who she was and what she was and how she showed up for me and so yeah, but I think that that's really awesome and I'm so proud of you for saying yes.

Chenise Upshur:

I'm so thankful for being asked yes, thank you.

Chantée Christian:

Thank you Because I saw right and I don't know if I told you this. So this is, this is all good stuff here.

Chantée Christian:

I saw what awareness had done for you, yeah, and I had a front seat in the shift and those pivotal moments for you where you were like I don't want to shit, I'm going to you know. And then, not leaning on your own understanding as you were doing it, I saw you put in the work, own understanding as you were doing it. I saw you put in the work and so I knew that you had something to share and I knew that the readers would be able to gain something from your experience in a way that landed and hit different Right, because this whole conversation has been around leadership.

Chenise Upshur:

Exactly, exactly.

Chantée Christian:

Right, and that is what this book is about. It is about leadership and personal development, and to me, you don't have one without the other. There's no way that you can be a great or amazing leader without doing some self-work, realization and all the things, and so making this conscious choice and effort, and so making this conscious choice and effort is what is so powerful to me, as I hear you express how you got to where you were in your chapter and saying yes.

Chenise Upshur:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pick up a leadership book or two and kind of look at the framework that's been created on. You know how to create what you know, insert any leadership skill right Relationship building, networking, whatever and say, all right, here's the three steps that I need to do. But to your point, unless you say, okay, what is it within me that doesn't naturally create relationships, right? Is there a lack of trust in people? Is there a lack of openness? What is you know? What is that within myself, within my character, that's maybe holding this back? Yes, I can do these three or four steps that are outlined in the book, but if I want this to become an innate part of myself, you have to look at the innate parts of yourself and figure out what needs to change, what needs to be added, what needs to be taken away.

Chenise Upshur:

And just like anything else, I think there's always the idea of fear with change and it tends to be glossed over. You know people just think of, you know, change in this positive term and while the results are positive, that process is very difficult, you know, just like my. I have a sister right now that's training for the National Marathon here in April and that amount of change that I see her kind of working through where, you know, instead of just eating whatever she's, you know meal prepping in the morning, she's meal prepping in the evening, she's got a very regimented. You know, this is the time that I work out and run. This is the time where I do mobility workout. This is the time where I bike, so my cardio is up. Here's my dedicated time for sleep. Um, so, even though you know she's super excited about the medal that she's gonna win, the amount of structure and change and focus that she has had to make in her life to achieve this goal, um, I, I personally have no desire to be a part of um me either.

Chenise Upshur:

I don't want to do that yeah, you get so excited about the change in the positive right Like who wouldn't love to win a really cool medal at a marathon and say that they, you know, ended in the top 10, like, yes, so change is good in that aspect. But when you think about the fact that she's been working towards this since August, almost it's like okay, wow, like that's's. That's actually a lot of behind the scenes stuff and I think change within leadership and within our character um, is the same, if not even more intense, and that part gets glossed over quite a bit oh yeah, because people always see the finished product exactly right.

Chantée Christian:

And, uh, one of my friends used to say oh my gosh. Well, people say it too. But one of my friends used to say if you made it look easy, you've done your job. And I would argue, if we made it look easy, we failed the people that are coming behind us, because they have a misconception of what it took and what it looks like to be.

Chantée Christian:

I like that, Although you know, everyone doesn't need to know the inner workings of how your sister's prepping or how you got to the point where you were able to say, yes, let me step out on my own and do this. All of those intricate things don't have to be shared. However, there's this space and we've talked about this. There's a difference between transparency and vulnerability.

Chenise Upshur:

Yeah.

Chantée Christian:

Right, and it's the vulnerability that changes people, not the transparency. The transparency is transactionalional right. I can, I can tell you all the shit about my day, I can tell you all the things in my 20-year career and yet, and still, you may still walk away saying damn, she did it all like that. It was easy peasy, when the truth of the matter is could it be further from the truth?

Chantée Christian:

like do you have a bush? Have you ever been to bush gardens? When the truth of the matter is Couldn't be further from the truth. Like do you have a bush garden? Have you ever been to bush gardens? I have once, yes, okay, so they now. I am really about to date myself.

Chantée Christian:

Just put that out there and I realized there's a small age gap between us. So, but do you remember when the Loch Ness monster came out like the very first time, like the Loch Ness, it was like it used. It was like the biggest, the fastest roller coaster that we had. Now there are a million of them, right? Okay, she's shaking her head. No, like what the hell are you talking about? Okay, y'all. So I this is a, if there was ever a trivia okay, I used to love roller coasters, hate them. Now you can't get me anywhere near one unless there's a funnel cake sitting beside there and I'm the one holding the coats and the bags. But I used to love roller coasters and I'll never forget we go to. We went to Busch Gardens and this new roller coaster was released. I got off that roller coaster and I was like whoo glad that's over. That is what my 20 plus year career has been like. Every time I think that we're done, something else happens, pops up and I'm like god damn it how do we get here?

Chantée Christian:

and I want to be clear it's not from a space of complaining or upset or well with me. It's from a space of I've made some decisions. I've made some choices, I followed my heart and sometimes that didn't always look like what I planned it to look like. So, just like on a roller coaster, you think you're going for a loop and really you go down and then you go for the loop and you're like holy smokes right and so I was not prepared for that one.

Chantée Christian:

I wasn't ready, right. So you're screaming all the way, all the way, all the way, and then the way, all the way, and then you get to a flat road. You're like, oh, that's the car we got there. This is almost over, right? Like is it time to get off? No One more loop, right and?

Chantée Christian:

but I think that's just because just because, however, what we present outside to the world isn't the roller coaster. Because, however, what we present outside to the world isn't the roller coaster. What we present out to the world is the entire amusement park. And so they're like, oh my god, look at this amusement park. It's like, yeah, look at this amusement park, like, look at, look at what we had to do to keep this mug running, you know, but like it's. I think that I think we have to have more conversations about that and obviously, right, like I said, you're new into entrepreneurship. However, I think that it's important to understand what it took, what it took for you to get there.

Chenise Upshur:

Yeah.

Chantée Christian:

Right To say, hey, yes, I want to do this, and what it's going to take for you to sustain if it's something that you still have in your smiley face corner.

Chenise Upshur:

Yeah, right, yep.

Chantée Christian:

Yeah, I think that's good stuff. I think that's good stuff. So I think now is a perfect time for you to tell me two things. Ooh, okay, wait, scratch that. So I want you to tell me one thing that you feel has been the most important or integral part of your leadership development um, and I kind of touched on it a little bit ago, but I talked about the idea of um, humility.

Chenise Upshur:

So one of the phrases that I always said with my team was every day, I want to learn something new and teach something new, and I want to teach something new.

Chenise Upshur:

Not because something new, and I want to teach something new not because, you know, I know it the best way, but that's the way that I know that I know that I understand something.

Chenise Upshur:

So that is a phrase that I would tell everybody on my team, people around me, feel like that has been one of the most important aspects of my leadership journey, because just that idea and stating every single day that I want to learn something new has put me in a position where one it was always very grounding for me, but two people around me loved to share new things with me.

Chenise Upshur:

I would have teammates or peers or even other, you know, senior leaders come up to me and say, hey, Chenise, I found this out, and they would, you know, share this piece of you know, whether it was leadership advice or technical advice or a new skill, and then they would look at me and say did I teach you something new today. So people got really excited about teaching me new things and for me at least, that was fantastic because it just helped me to grow. It helped me to understand new concepts probably quicker than I would have otherwise, and it also helped me to you know, really again, just put myself in a situation where learning and uncovering new things was the status quo.

Chantée Christian:

I swear to.

Chenise Upshur:

God. So I continued the first question and I was waiting for you to get back to ask the second question. I figured you could just cut and slice well, I don't even know what I thought.

Chantée Christian:

I was plugged up and I you Maybe we're back.

Chenise Upshur:

Yes, you're back. I hear you when I tell you showing recording.

Chantée Christian:

It told me it was recording when I got back in and it looked like audacity. Never stopped recording either.

Chenise Upshur:

I don't I don't know, but zoom did not stop recording?

Chantée Christian:

I don't know a day what it is about this particular experience and podcast that the universe is like. Let me give you all the bullshit that comes along with podcasting that you've never experienced in your five seasons.

Chenise Upshur:

All in the same one. All in the same the fuck.

Chantée Christian:

okay, so, if I heard you correctly, you said that one of the things that you loved most, one of the things that is an integral part of your leadership, is really being able to learn something new, exactly From different people and just being able to be in that space, right? So, um, here we are you.

Chantée Christian:

you've taught me something new today well good, yes, I'm like, I'm all I'm about to like. Go make me a sheet with a smiley face on it and I can list a few things that are not on that side and see what happens. No, but all seriousness, what would you like to leave the people with?

Chenise Upshur:

I think what I would love to leave the people with and you'll see it kind of highlighted in the book as well is the fact that change can be difficult. Growth can be difficult. It's never an overnight success kind of incident. It's something that you have to work through. It's something that you know. Maybe you fall down once and you have to stand up and try again, but the results are so, so well worth it. So you know those moments where it's like you know what there's, there's Chenise. 1.0 is perfectly fine. We don't have to push to 2.0. The moments that you have those thoughts, don't stop keep pushing, keep your foot on the gas. You might have to get out and push the car right, gas in the car, but it is going to be well worth it. The 2.0 version of yourself, that better version of yourself that's more true to who you are, your characteristics, what it is that you love, is going to be so worth all of the struggles and the journey and those growth moments that happen along the way.

Chantée Christian:

So you got it. I love that growth moments and you got it, and you got it. Yes, thank you for joining me on my podcast.

Chenise Upshur:

Of course, of course. Thank you, it's been a pleasure.

Chantée Christian:

Yes, and you all can. People can find you where.

Chenise Upshur:

So I am on social media. You can find me on Instagram and LinkedIn as well, if you just search Cornerstone Coaching and Consulting and on my website, wwwcornerstonecoachingandconsultingcom. I would love to connect with all of you.

Chantée Christian:

Awesome sauce. Well, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Chenise Upshur:

You're welcome. Have a great day.