My Best SHIFT
You don’t attract what you want…you attract who you are! Join 2x Amazon International Best Selling Author, TV Producer/Host, Transformational Coach, and Management Consultant, Chantée Christian as she delves into the complexities of humanity. Each episode contains powerful information that will shift your mindset, provide enlightening insight, be uncomfortable at times, and encourage you to step into inspired action!
My Best SHIFT
S4:E5: Choosing Change and Embracing the Journey (with Alex Davis)
What happens when you dare to be brutally honest with yourself and conscious of the choices you make? For Alex, our guest in this episode, it led to an empowering journey—one that took her from a corporate refugee to a financial independence coach for women.
Creating a brave space for women to express their dreams, goals, and fears without judgment became a cornerstone of Alex’s mission. She firmly believes in the power of truth over feelings, and in this episode, she guides us through the process of bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be.
This episode, rich with wisdom, is sure to resonate with anyone seeking to make conscious choices, build a supportive community, and gracefully navigate life's challenges. Tune in as she shares her gripping journey, the transformation she experienced, and how she found her purpose in helping other women achieve financial freedom and clarity.
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More About Alex: Alex Davis, CPA, CFP® is the creator and founder of AGA Tax and Consulting Services LLC. She's a highly sought after International Financial Empowerment Coach and Tax Strategist who didn't always have the power of finances working in her favor. Alex knows the pain and shame of a messy financial house. As a single mom of 2 brilliant daughters, she pulled herself out of a deep hole of a $50,000 debt to a mountainous $300,000 net worth. Alex has now made it her life and work mission to not keep this gift of financial clarity and confidence to herself. She now expertly guides other successful women to get their financial house in order to live a life of freedom on their terms.
Connect with Alex via Instagram | LinkedIn | Facebook | Website
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INSPIRED ACTIONS/THOUGHTS FOR THIS EPISODE:
How are you honoring yourself?
What does enjoying the journey look like for you?
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Hello good people. This is Chantée Christian and you are listening to the my Best Shift Podcast. In today's episode, Alex and I talk about enjoying the journey. Hi, Alex, how you doing?
Alex Davis:Hey, I'm good. How are you?
Chantée Christian:I am doing well. Thank you for joining me on my podcast.
Alex Davis:Thank you for having me, I appreciate it yes.
Chantée Christian:So before we get too into it, tell the people a little bit about yourself.
Alex Davis:Hey people, I'm Alex. I'm a CPA and financial empowerment coach and I just adore Chantée. That's number one. And then I spent a decade in public accounting and got to the point that, especially being a single mom, that I was over it. I was exhausted, I was run down and I escaped. So I call myself like a corporate refugee and so maybe even well, I'm not going to go there because I don't want to be charged with blasphemies. I'm like Harriet Tubman, but I truly am at now in the place in my life where I'm wanting to bring as many women with me as possible, where we are truly figuring out what it is that we want and going after it.
Alex Davis:And then my secret sauce is I'm really skilled at finances and so really supporting women and seeing and getting clarity with their finances to say, if all that BS, this is what I'm going to my life and I'm going after it. That is my passion project, and I have two little mini-me's that are, well, I guess, my 18 year old. She's not part of the mini-me, but I have an 18 year old and a four year old, and so I'm just trailblazing and wanting them to make sure that they are living a life that they are proud of and not forced upon them.
Chantée Christian:Yeah, I love that. I love that a life that they are proud on and not forced upon them. What CPA ever says that.
Speaker 3:No, but I know.
Chantée Christian:Well, and I will say that we met back in 2022 at the limitless retreat. A fan favorite, bridget, was there and it was her retreat, and we met there and I remember us standing at the kitchen counter talking about dating, yes, and I was like I love her and I need more of her energy in my life. And then, you know, we've been talking ever since and you have been God sent in so many different ways. But as you talk about your journey, what about being incorporate? At what point did you realize the misalignment?
Alex Davis:Yeah, I think that was year four, so I spent 10 years in total. Year four was when I realized there was a misalignment and during that period I lost like 25 pounds and it's been a like less than three months and my hair was shedding like I owned a cat.
Alex Davis:It was bad it was. I was stressed and so I knew I was not right. I don't think this is normal. I was a team mom and so, coming from team mom, growing up in poverty, like the income that I was receiving in corporate, I was like I can't leave, I just have to, I have to figure it out.
Alex Davis:I'm just going to be an accountant, like I have to figure this out, like this is what I have to do, I have to figure it out, I have to figure it out. And I would also say the other thing when I was in corporate is I was with a company that made you feel like we're a family, like, and then someone who did not have my dad in my life, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm the one who they care about me. They care yeah. I'm doing a great job.
Alex Davis:They're making lots of money off of me. And so at year four, when I knew there was a best alignment instead of like seeking outside counsel, I went into them and say hey, you know, something doesn't feel right. And it was oh, maybe go part time or maybe do all these other things. It was like no girl, you need to leave, leave. Of course they're not going to say that, but it was year four. I knew that public accounting for me was not it. Yeah, it took six years to finally get out.
Chantée Christian:It took me 15 years to leave. I had realized that there was a misalignment before then, but, similar to your story not being a single mother, however, not knowing right that there were other possibilities, that there was something else that was capable and available and at my reach, and so it's something that I talk a lot about on this podcast, about walking in your journey, walking in your purpose, living your truth. And you know, part of that journey for me was leaving corporate, and, however, that's not everybody's truth, and I'll be the first to say that corporate paid for me to be able to leave those certifications 90% of them were paid for by an employer, and, and that is because they were true to the position that I held in and they're true to the roles that I hold now, and I think that something that's really important for people to hear, though, is that there is a way to navigate the misalignment to become a moral line. So, when you think about your life now, what about it would you want others to experience?
Alex Davis:getting honest with yourself about what it is that you want. Like really being able to sit still and figure that out. I feel like you take for granted that oh yeah, I know I'm doing what I love, but until you actually sit still, you don't really get to see it. And that's what I would want for everyone is the ability to sit still, analyze where they're at, think about where they wanna go recognize that. It's okay if it changes.
Alex Davis:But even just in a moment of time to be able to really sit still and say you know what? This is what I wanna do right now, and it be coming from a place of pure desire not impacted by what other people want, what you think people want you to have.
Speaker 3:But generally from a place of.
Alex Davis:This is how I wanna spend my day. This is who I wanna spend my day with. This is how. This is what I wanna spend my day doing Like really sit in that, even if you can't do it, but just to even have the vision, because I feel like you can't be given a vision that isn't possible for you. So just see the possibility, you know, like that is hands down, that's what I would want them to have, like ooh, that's good, that's good Right, because it feels good, it feels good, it feels good.
Chantée Christian:So how do you help people get to that point?
Alex Davis:Most of my clients come to me because I think it's numbers, it's I'm paying too much for taxes or it's a numbers thing. So I really just start by getting them to see, just stop and really look, and so I really help them in taking a moment to. When you're with me, you have a safe space to just be you. The heck with everything else, the noise that's going on, what it is that you want. And so often when we're working and we're moving and we're like we're bad women okay, Like we, and by bad I mean bad ass, okay.
Chantée Christian:We are crem-day like crem, we are doing it. Oh, crem-day like crem, yes.
Alex Davis:Okay, and our friends, we are the people who they come in. Hey, what do you think about this? What do you think about?
Chantée Christian:this yes.
Alex Davis:But I offer a safe space of look. You don't have to do all that when you come. We are just looking at what it is that you want, where putting truth to power, getting, I would say, fact over feelings.
Speaker 3:What is?
Alex Davis:your situation right now. Where is it that you want to go? And then I bridge the gap between okay, this is where you truly want to be. This is right now, factually where you're at. What's the game plan to get where you want to be? And that's where I support women to just I feel, like I'm a big cheerleader, so if you tell me that you want to do something.
Chantée Christian:Lord, yes.
Alex Davis:What's up? We are going to make a mistake.
Chantée Christian:Lord, yes, I can attest to that personally my gosh texting me before my eyes, typically open, talking about well, how did that go? Well, I didn't do it. Yet you want accountability partner? My God, make sure that you reach out to Alex because she is not playing on games.
Speaker 3:Not playing on games.
Alex Davis:No, because this is the thing. We have these visions, and sometimes, especially when you are the go-to person you're the go-to. It's like well, who do you go to? You've already accomplished things that people didn't expect for you. But you're saying yeah, but I feel like there's something else that I want to do, Even more out of the norm, and you're the only one doing it. You need to say space where you can go to someone who's like you know what. Yeah, I've done all this, but I want more.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Alex Davis:And I want to work less or whatever it is, and people are probably looking at you like you're crazy yeah, the heart. And then you need that one person that's like I don't know that you can do it. And guess what? I'm going to push you a little bit to make sure you get it done, because I know that was in your heart.
Speaker 3:And I know that you're capable.
Alex Davis:And people that are a chance to me. I don't really know they're capable because I'm a lot to handle. So that's that.
Chantée Christian:I love that because so often, especially for B lack and brown women, we look around and we don't see people where we want to go, or if we do, they're so far out of our reach when really we actually just don't share within our communities and with each other about the things that are going on. You and I were having a conversation the other day and you were like oh, I completely understand. I was like what Are you for real? And it's just, it's in those moments, right, and I was talking to someone else and sharing that with them a story, and they were like oh yeah, let me tell you about the time that I did the exact same thing and I was like what?
Chantée Christian:Why aren't we talking about these things? But, like you said, we come into these spaces with this armor on of I got to have it together and needs to look like I have it together and having a safe space, whether it is with your accountant, your coach, your strategist, your thought partner or whoever and just having that brave space. I won't even say it's safe. I would say it's brave because you have to be able to let your guard down and to have a sense of I'm going to be okay with sharing my information with this person and them not using it against me or bringing it back up, but using it in a way and helping me push and motivate you know.
Alex Davis:Oh, spot on, spot on, because it's already a challenge to be vulnerable. That's already a step to do that, especially when you're talking strong black woman. Oh, I don't ever want to hear that again.
Chantée Christian:I hate that term.
Alex Davis:My God you know, no, I'm a damsel in distress Right. And your teacher then says it Absolutely I am. But you already have to show up, and being vulnerable is tough in itself and then you have to, especially if you have a history where women have betrayed you or people have betrayed you with your personal information. Now you're having to trust someone and if you don't know them, you haven't vetted them enough and how you think you should vet someone. It is such a challenge to do that.
Speaker 3:It is.
Alex Davis:There's layers to it. So it makes sense that people don't really share these experiences because they don't know how they'll be judged. And if you haven't done, I mean I will say this. Last 18 months has been a lot of inner work and silencing my credit and the judgment that I give myself and because of that now like I'm even better equipped to not judge people. It's like we're human.
Alex Davis:Lots of people you know, and so it is just amazing to be able to offer a brave space and I love that a brave space, but it is, it really is.
Chantée Christian:Yeah, I love that. I love that and I love the idea of building community to support women, specifically Because and I say this a lot when you look at leadership and leadership books and leadership, all the tricks and tips and things men are all over it. They're all over it and their experience in the space is wildly different. And then you add on the complexity of age, race, ethnicity, economic, social, you know backgrounds, just adding all of the dynamics, you're left with a bunch of people who don't know how incredibly difficult it is to be a leader and not be a white, cisgender male, and I think that's something that we use a lot for others is the term allyship.
Chantée Christian:However, what I believe we do, and something that I think that Bridget was, maybe indirectly or directly, I'm not sure was doing was creating spaces of advocacy and of championship. Right, that's not even a word, I don't think. But of championship, yeah, championship, oh, championship. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all right. How many of those numbers? Yes, I'm pretty sure that's not a word. At any rate, I think that what she was creating was a space of advocacy and a space where people have an opportunity to champion and cheer for each other, and I 100% will, you know, forever be grateful for that opportunity because I met so many sister friends in it and I have kept in contact with quite a few of you and what it's done for me is that I'm able to see women that have been where I'm at, women that are at where I'm at and women that are where I wanna be, and I was able to see and experience all of that in one space.
Alex Davis:It was powerful. For me life changing Because, similar to you, I've kept in contact with several of the women and they have I'm not lying to you when I say change my life in the span of what has it been like six, seven months or something like that?
Speaker 3:And it's so interesting.
Alex Davis:This is the story of a lot of professional, especially black, women. I went to a conference a few weeks ago and it was mainly attorneys. I was the only CPA there. It was about 10, 10 women, all women of color, actually her black women, except one, one woman with Asian and one. During one of the sessions we actually had a life coach come in and one of the attorneys was speaking and she said do you have female friends? And she, she was like no, most of my friends are male. And she said that is a problem. We a lot of time, us as women, we don't have genuine female friends that you can talk, that you can see, counsel, you can share experiences with. And so I shared. I said you know that's so true because prior to my loneliness experience, I had my friends and my family that I grew up with, but outside of that is team, no new friends, was that?
Chantée Christian:Yes, no, new, friends right.
Speaker 3:No, new, friends.
Alex Davis:Oh, I don't know this person. I don't know if I can trust you with this. Oh, I can't be vulnerable with you. I don't know how you're going to use this information. Yeah, they did earlier. But what I have discovered is a lot of times like for me, you know, I'm single, hey, and I sometimes I thought that it was like the, the, the man that I was like. Oh, I missed this comfort and so I found I was saying toxic relationship because of that.
Speaker 3:But once.
Alex Davis:I got in community with women who were now pouring into me and I was able to pour into them. Right, you need you, and I actually was able to exit a toxic relationship, which is why I'm single and very eligible.
Chantée Christian:Okay, so I think we need to make sure that people heard Alex loud and clear. She is single and ready to mingle. And what state are you in?
Alex Davis:Yes, I am in Florida, just south of Tampa.
Chantée Christian:Okay, she's in Florida, just south of Tampa, so if you or someone you know fits into her her criteria, sliding to her deal, there you go. Don't message me, slide into her deals directly. She is single.
Alex Davis:We connected over love connection, so I was like it will be only right to be to make sure that I mentioned that.
Chantée Christian:Listen and I think about you often in this journey because, again, right, it's this space of vulnerability and it's this space of being honest about where you're at in a certain space in life, especially when dating, especially when you are an entrepreneur, especially as a single mother, especially, especially, especially. And it feels like, since I've talked to you that first time, that first night, where you were like I don't know about that, right? So that first night is not just you that have approached me about dating and all of the things, and so I actually have a sticky here. It's talking about a ebook for dating and it's so funny because I I bring up like the same thing that we're talking about with community, with black women, and in that space is the same thing that we don't bring to relationships, so intimate relationships. Let me be clear so we do not, we're not open, we're not vulnerable and we got on our capes because we're superwoman and I don't need you, I don't need the whole.
Chantée Christian:And you just said you were damsel in distress. Are you acting like one? Are you showing up as one? Are you showing up as superwoman? I got this. Y'all can't see her face.
Alex Davis:No, I mean, that is an excellent point. In my mind I am a damsel in distress, but I can say I don't embody that.
Alex Davis:I need something done, I get it done. I don't sit around and wait because that has to be like. That's been my pattern. And yeah, and you I mean listen, you call me out about that being vulnerable and open, and all that because it doesn't always feel safe. And what if I don't feel safe? It is for me. It's like, well, I have to protect myself. But what I am learning is that there's a fine line asking question, communicating to where you can uncover Okay, is this potentially a safe space that I just haven't communicated to find out?
Alex Davis:And I'm just jumping to conclusions because I'm gonna be honest, I write whole novels before I've even had a conversation with someone, sometimes because I'm like I don't know better. But I'm learning that that won't work. And when you show up in a retreat with a bunch of coaches, you will learn how to ask questions, wait for answers, not just to conclusions, and even if I don't know, I was implementing in the back of my mind, in the back of my mind.
Alex Davis:You're there, shantay, like when I'm about to not give someone a chance. I'm like wait a minute wait a minute, let me consider If it's not a hell. No, it might be, a yes. Consider why I'm thinking of saying the no. I think about it now, I think listen, it will forever be planted in my mind.
Chantée Christian:And just for context, right? So and I say this to anyone that's on my dating, and I mean it from the depths of my soul, all the way, I mean all of the places. I mean it because I did it, and I told Alex that if she's swiping left or right or whatever the app does, if she looks at their profile and it's not a hell, no, no, thank you, swipe, right. And she said, oh, I don't know about that. To be fair, she is not the only person that has said that to me. Let me explain, though, the why.
Chantée Christian:What happens is it allows you to get out of your own way of what you think your man or person is supposed to look like and be packaged as, and it allows you the opportunity to practice, because practice makes improvement, and the only way to practice, and the way to practice without feeling like, oh no, he's not going to call me back, is the practice with somebody that you want to fence about. Practice with them. Yes, because you really don't get it. You know it is what it is, but you really don't care that much. True, it's a true, and so the more you practice and the more you get ready, and the more that you're ready, the more prepared you are for when the guy is there. And the truth of the matter is you can say and do whatever, and the guy that's supposed to be there is going to be there.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Chantée Christian:And if you swipe left on him, try to never go. No, but it's a true. But I would say this and I brought that up because we don't show up vulnerable in our intimate relationships because it hasn't been a safe space before. Yes, it's the before part, though, so we're bringing in the baggage and all of the BS from before into right now. I'll speak for myself. I am having the most vulnerable moments in my current relationship that I've ever had, and I was like I want to reset. I don't want to do this, I don't like it, and it's not because it's not safe, and it's not because it hasn't been a warm and welcoming and in a brave and all those type of things, because I'm like damn, I'm tired. Now I had to go share and bear my soul.
Speaker 3:Exhausting. It's exhausting.
Chantée Christian:And you know what it's liberating? Yeah, it is. It's the same thing. When you find a really good girlfriend, you're like yes, yeah, yeah, friend.
Alex Davis:I've been waiting for this. I didn't know I needed this so badly.
Chantée Christian:Period and it's just like that with an intimate relationship when you give it a chance.
Alex Davis:I don't know I got to see this. Listen, my daily life has never been the same since those conversations. They haven't, because I'm aware of it. So, even if I forget, awareness is so important because often you don't even know that you're operating in that manner until someone brings it to your attention. Oh my gosh, you're right, absolutely correct.
Alex Davis:Yeah, you can explore that you know you get and ultimately you get to choose how you take the information. But I just I think once you're aware you cannot turn it off. You can't turn it off once you become aware of it. It's like oh dang.
Chantée Christian:Alex, you cannot, you cannot. I tell my clients this all the time. Awareness is like a searchlight, like, not a spotlight, but a searchlight, like once where the police are looking for somebody that broke out, or yeah, like, and it's like, hey, where you going, but I'm right here, what you going to do, and you can ignore it, but it's always going to keep coming back until you've addressed it.
Alex Davis:Oh my gosh, that's a great analogy. It is a pain in the ass, like, let's just be clear. Yeah, that's what it's like.
Chantée Christian:Yeah, it'll hunt you down Once. Just a little bit of opening. It's like oh what's up?
Alex Davis:That's a really good analogy.
Chantée Christian:It is, and it's because awareness allows you to be able to step into action and make conscious choices. Right, it is literally awareness. It's the first step to change.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Chantée Christian:Now, the lack of awareness allows you to walk around unconsciously living your life bitty, bopping around, thinking that you don't need people and that you know all the things. And then something happens in an interaction and a space happens, and it opens up your world and sometimes you don't even realize how much it opens it up until later, until later and that's like the plump part, and start having those.
Alex Davis:Aha, oh, this is what this is about. And it's funny because it makes sense, because most of what is it like? 80 or 90% of our daily functions are by our subconscious. We just get up give or just drive the work and you're like wait a minute. I was supposed to make a lesson today, but because you're on autopilot.
Speaker 3:And so that's why awareness is key.
Alex Davis:And then, even especially because I work with women in their finances, it's amazing how, just simply looking at your spending, that you actually spent on your credit cards and bank statements Like that's how I start with clients Just look at what. Where did the money go?
Chantée Christian:Yeah, you do.
Alex Davis:Where did the money go? And let me tell you something that in itself it wakes people up and we're like what I mean, I know one as a single person with one child. When I started like my savings journey, I looked and I had spent $1,500 eating out. That did not include groceries.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Alex Davis:One single woman and a child. My daughter was like $12, $1,500 eating out and I was like, oh my gosh, like $18,000 a year. I'm like, can you still buy a car with $18,000? Inflation is crazy, but $18,000 a year if you spend $1,500 eating out. When I saw that I said oh no, oh no, I need to change something. But it was awareness, when you're just spending or when you just have a certain habit that you haven't been brought aware to.
Alex Davis:is that awareness that she's like, yeah, it's that spotlight, so y'all may still go out of here, but I'm like, oh, wait a minute now wait a minute now? Now I'm at three times this week. Is this an alignment with where I say that I want to go?
Speaker 3:Is this an alignment? That's?
Chantée Christian:good, that's good. And I will say that activity is not for the faint of heart. So, since you had me clutching my pearls like what's this? No, can't be Like wow. And it's because of operating from a space of oh, it's just there, Right, it's there and that's for me. I can't speak to any of your other clients, but for me it's oh, it's there, it's fine. And then you made me do that activity and I was like man, this is silly, this is silly.
Chantée Christian:And you know this is this is great A trash like what is happening right now. Right, and it's not coming from a space like. I want to be clear, right. When you're, when you're getting in alignment in all spaces, it doesn't always feel good, no, and nine times out of 10, it's not going to feel good. It doesn't feel good until you see a result, right. So when you think of like, when I think about an alignment, I think I'm going to be like man. I think about my chiropractor. I don't feel good within pressing on my back and doing all of those things, but what does feel good is when I'm able to stand up and I'm able to walk without having to. Oh wow. And it's the same thing with finances. It's the same thing with life and leadership and work and life and align it with people too. It is the same thing. It's a growing pain.
Alex Davis:That's what it is Like. You're being stretched. You're being stretched the place you've never been.
Chantée Christian:Say so.
Alex Davis:That's not going to be comfortable.
Chantée Christian:Yeah.
Alex Davis:But it seems to the other side of that just knowing this is part of the journey. And I think the other thing that I would probably share with people is I know it's tough because I forget this, too, is enjoying the journey while you're on it.
Chantée Christian:Oh yeah.
Alex Davis:It's like, so focused on the destination and what it's supposed to look like and all these things that you just like pass through the journey and not see the growth and say, oh, you know what, I used to do that, but now I do this. I get my where I ultimately want to be, or think I want to be, because a lot of times you get there and that's not. That's not where you really wanted to go, anyways.
Chantée Christian:And that's when you call me and I help coach you through what's going on.
Alex Davis:And you definitely better do that Okay.
Chantée Christian:I know, yeah, it's true.
Alex Davis:Yeah, just enjoying that journey. I feel like a lot of times and I'll be very transparent In my journey during the entrepreneurship it has a look like I thought it would look, and so there are times where I deemed myself as being a failure. Oh my gosh, I didn't bring in the money that I wanted to bring in. But then, when I actually looked at my journey, I said, oh my gosh, but you lost 40 pounds during this time. Oh my gosh, you left a relationship that you never thought you would get out of. Oh my gosh, you've changed the relationship and how you parent your children. So where now their lives are going to be changed and less traumatic? Like you're thinking that the destination is this X amount of dollars in your bank account, but what about all these other things that you've experienced on this journey that essentially you've almost ignored because it's not what you thought it would look like?
Alex Davis:And so just please, please, enjoy the journey and give yourself credit and be in gratitude for the things that are going well, the things that have changed, that are positively impacting your life, and it's crazy because it's not even just your life. It's how you impact others, because what I know without a shadow of a doubt is the impact that I have left on people, now that I'm operating in more alignment and my energy is more positive, like I would not show up. Show up with genuine love.
Alex Davis:I would not have that Like I have a lesson that I do. I do have a lesson that, and I'm like you know what. My bank account isn't showing it just yet, but it's coming, it's coming because I've seen it, but just enjoy all those little pieces in there, because I'm like gosh, it's so much juiciness in it that we skip over, because it's like, well, I'm not where I want to be yet.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Chantée Christian:Damn, that's good. One of my friends told me yesterday. He said the things that you think are failures, there's someone else that's looking at them as significant, huge wins. Ooh.
Alex Davis:And that's a word.
Chantée Christian:And he was getting my whole life together yesterday and when he said it, I said you know what You're right?
Chantée Christian:I mean, I was like you're right, I surrendered to you being right and I think that we have grown up in a culture where it's not OK to what looks like to us as failure, and we've grown up in this culture that is not a present culture.
Chantée Christian:And something that you mentioned and something that I work with so many of my clients on, is that we're so worried about the end that we don't pay attention to how we're getting to the end. And so we got this destination or this promotion, this dollar amount, this, this, this, but we're not worried and focused on what is literally right in front of us and the next step that gets us closer and closer to when we get to that thing, being able to appreciate it and accept it for what it is, because the whole time we've built it up in our heads. Like you were talking about those stories, we got these stories of how it's going to look and how it's going to be, and that's why half of the relationships that people are in are trashed, because people are saying, oh, I really think that it's going to be like this and it's going to be amazing. Relationships are suck.
Chantée Christian:I'm sorry y'all Let me, they don't suck, but they do, in a way, from a perspective of their work, they are, and we have this oh when I get a husband. Oh when I get back up, back up. Are you ready? Do you know what that means? Have you been preparing for your here and now, for the then? And nine times out of 10, the answer is no, because you've envisioned something and you have missed the points in the marks to get in order and get prepared for the thing.
Chantée Christian:So, yeah, I think the best part of enjoying the journey is realizing that it is a journey, and so when some people are driving long distance, they don't want to stop. I used to be one of those people, but now my bladder requires me to stop. What is the same thing? You wrote through six states and didn't stop in three of them because we got to go, we got to get there. Well, what would happen if you stopped at a rest stop and looked at the signage to see what was happening? Or if you stopped at an overview or somewhere else? Or enjoying the journey, not just getting to the destination?
Alex Davis:Yeah, and this is near and dear to my heart, and being on the journey, because a lot of times you think about this destination, you're being a little bit arrogant if you think about it because you're not promised tomorrow. It's very arrogant to think OK, five years from now, how much are you going?
Speaker 3:to be here five years. That's good.
Alex Davis:Who's going to be here, oh?
Chantée Christian:I know what you mean, that's good.
Alex Davis:But and I do this myself, especially when you're the high achieving women we're like we've got our checklist, we've got our goals and of course you want to set goals, but all we have is here and now. That's it. Tomorrow is gone, oh no, yeah. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow ain't here, yet we have today. What is it that you can do today and really honor yourself and be in gratitude? And then I'm like I have to have a tattoo on my forehead because I know it.
Alex Davis:And I still get into moments where I'm like, gosh, this is what I really wanted to happen. And as I wait, come back, come back. So it's like and it's not to say that knowing a thing and embodying and walking the thing, those are totally different things, but just being aware. So, when you're like for me, when I'm in those moments of spiraling it literally happened to me this morning I could not get up. I was just slow moving and I was about to be found so fucked up about it. You need to do this. Want, girl, get up and do this? And I said you know, what.
Alex Davis:I'm going to take a breath, I'm going to meditate and I'm going to do what I can. I said I'm not going to control myself. I'm stressing about something that not do, for you know, I don't know if tomorrow is here, but right now, right here, my body is saying you can't move right now. And when I looked at the reality situation, there was nothing that was on fire, that needed to be done. So you know what I mean. I said my behind them and I went to time to do to record this podcast, and I'm giving myself grace about it and not beating myself up.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Alex Davis:You know and it's just really being in those moments and being in gratitude that I even have this option, my bills are paid. And guess what, even if it bills aren't paid, you probably know someone that you can go and knock on their door and say, hey, I need some support right now. Like be OK with that, so that way you can be in the moment and not be so stressed and all these things that. I saw a post last night 180,000 people die from stress a year.
Chantée Christian:That's a gracious life.
Alex Davis:I said, oh no, I'm not stressing myself, no, and if you really think about a lot of times when you're stressing myself, it's literally things that if you said and said how true is that, you will break it down and realize okay, well, now I'm just made up a story that really isn't true.
Speaker 3:And.
Alex Davis:I'm not just stressed about it. Listen, I've been there. I still do it, even though I know these things.
Chantée Christian:Well, and I think that it's important to also remember that just because you know something doesn't mean that you're not hardwired to do and to default to something else, and it doesn't mean that you haven't learned just because you default to what you are naturally programmed to do. It's how long do you stay there before you what some people would say bounce back, or before you do something different, right? So, like what you were saying is you this morning were like God, I need to get up, I gotta go. And then you stopped and said wait, I don't have to do any of those things, I can just sit right here or lay right here and just be. And that was a conscious choice, right? And that's what awareness does. Awareness allows you to say hold up, wait a minute, I want to do something different. And then you get to decide do you do something different or do you stay with your default? And the more that you practice doing that, the more that you move into reprogramming and re-engineering your thoughts.
Alex Davis:Yes, oh, that's really good.
Chantée Christian:Yeah.
Alex Davis:Yeah, that's exactly what it is. How long did you stay?
Chantée Christian:How long did you stay Right? There has been no secret. It's been no secret that I've been in a funk. However, when I talk into a client, when I'm on a podcast or when I'm doing something that is reminding me why I do it, I snap out of it because I know that I have a choice. I'm also human, just like you are.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Chantée Christian:I mean hell. The Dolly Lamas just did a major slip the other day, so anything is possible.
Alex Davis:I'm not even sure, oh my goodness, Right, right, it could be worse. You could be worse. Oh wow, yeah, you're right. But I'd say that to say it's okay to have feelings.
Chantée Christian:This conversation isn't one to say, oh, once you're aware of your feelings, you don't have them. No, not at all. You absolutely have them. It's how long do you stick with each one of them before doing something different?
Alex Davis:Yes, oh my gosh.
Chantée Christian:And it's so easy for us to identify toxic relationships and toxic people, but sometimes we don't realize how toxic we are to ourselves.
Alex Davis:That's all I want to podcast. Oh, wow, wow, whoa. You are spot on with that, because even just think about sometimes the way we talk to ourselves in certain instances. Yeah, oh my gosh, I know. Like once I became aware of it because I didn't realize how the negative manner in which I spoke to myself, yeah, and I said, oh my gosh, you're right, I wouldn't want to talk to someone like that and hearing it, that's what you're talking to yourself.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alex Davis:Oh gosh, that just hit me different.
Chantée Christian:Like and I think about that, especially as we talk about finances and relationships, because it's a relationship with your money and how you talking to your money, how you talking to you about your money. You wouldn't want anybody talking to your spouse crazy. Why are you not acting like that?
Alex Davis:over here. You're spot on and I even equate. Like your relationship with money. Like you're dating a partner, like you can't expect to neglect a partner and I pay attention to them.
Alex Davis:And they're just like oh yeah, I'm right by your side, baby. I'm not going anywhere, I mean so I guess possibly. But most partners are going to be like, ok, well, you're not giving me attention, let me get somebody else's attention, or I'm out of here, but I'll see you later. And that's what happens. Like the money is literally you're not paying attention to it, it's literally just going different places.
Chantée Christian:Yeah, that's good, that's good, that's some good stuff right there, friend, that's some good stuff.
Alex Davis:Listen. I'm still recovering from you. Don't realize you are the toxic one. I'm still trying to listen.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to pick myself up from that one OK.
Chantée Christian:And we are, we are. It's so easy to point fingers at other people. It's so easy to be like, ah, it was them, it was them, ok, but what about? What part of it did you play? And that's something that one of my friends and I talk about often is like, well, what part did you play? And then, once you get clear on what part you played and you can and not to say that they didn't have a part too Everybody has a part Right, and when you're aware and honest, it changes how you move.
Alex Davis:I mean it changes how you move and even when you don't change right away, you're aware of it.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah.
Alex Davis:You are aware of it and you live like that analogy with the cop and their searchlight. Oh yeah, it's spot on because eventually it's going to catch up with you and it's going to be in the spotlight and you are caught and you are OK. I have to change. And I say, when you have the option, by choice or by force, you want to take advantage of choosing, because when you're forced to make some changes, you lack all control.
Speaker 3:And.
Alex Davis:I know, come on high, achieving black women. We like a little bit of control and so if you have the option to choose how you change, I encourage you to do that because the force sometimes you just don't know what you're going to get.
Speaker 3:That's a fact.
Chantée Christian:That's a fact. That's a fact and I tell my clients this all the time and we usually get to a point of it. But the truth of the matter is you don't control anything. We can manage everything better and better from a perspective of different from where we're at.
Alex Davis:Oh, that's good. Yeah, you're right, we don't.
Chantée Christian:Because when we try to control something, it's from a space of fear.
Alex Davis:Yeah.
Chantée Christian:And it's just like squeezing a water balloon because you don't want it to fall and then it pops, versus just holding the water balloon and allowing it to be and to manage it. You can hold it with both hands, but to add force. This conversation has been good to me. It's been so good to me. This is good stuff. So tell me, what would you want to leave the people with?
Alex Davis:I mean at this point probably no one has edges.
Alex Davis:So I don't really know if there's anything. I mean the edges are gone. I mean mine are hanging on by a thread. Thank heaven this is not on camera. I guess I would just leave with just again. Be honest with yourself, sit with yourself and truly identify what it is that you want and be okay changing. Yeah, just be okay and know that you get to choose again and again, and again and again. Do not feel like you have to be stuck and I think more importantly is choose yourself. They tell you on the airplane, put your oxygen mask on first.
Speaker 3:And.
Alex Davis:I cannot count the number of times that in me and myself included we are making choices that are against our core beliefs, what feels good to us, and it's truly to make someone else happy and ultimately, we can't make other people happy. They have to make themselves happy, enjoy, and all those things we have to start at home, and so I guess that will be my final takeaway it's just really hone in on what it is that brings you joy and peace over all peace, and that freedom and that joy, because that's what it's about, because when people are getting your overflow, it's your overflow and it's just so much more powerful than you trying to scrape around. That would be my final takeaway.
Chantée Christian:I love that. I love that. Where and how can the people get in contact with you if they wanna work with you, follow you, et cetera?
Alex Davis:Yes, I'm on social media. I'm on Instagram and Facebook, at Alexandria Chanel, underscore, cpa. And then for my professional hotties, I'm only dead. I'm at Alexandria Davis, cpa. So definitely check me out and this has been amazing. So I say thank you for sharing your platform and I know this is changing a lot. These are conversations that people are not having and they are important. They are so important.
Chantée Christian:Oh, thank you, and it was your dating handle, so that just in case we got some singles out there that wanna hit you up.
Alex Davis:You know what I actually am not on dating handles. I am trusting and believing no, I'm trusting and believing that I'm connecting with people and letting them know that I'm out here and so that it's just gonna, and I'm getting out. Right, I'm leaving the country three times this year. I'm moving around in different states. Look, I'm gonna meet my guy. I believe it, I'm believing it, so I'm not on any like apps right now.
Chantée Christian:I got to find out when we see her on 90 Day.
Alex Davis:Fiancé, I was striping right too much. I was striping right, wiping right too much. That's what happened, I swear.
Chantée Christian:She lying y'all, and when we see her on 90 Day Fiancé, we gonna know she found her boo in one of these countries. Lord, help us.
Alex Davis:No, no, no, no, no. Only day US citizens, that is something that perhaps I need to work on, but my grandmother starved me for life with that. I really need a US citizen, also for tax write-off purposes, it's just much easier that way as well. So I was. By the way, can't look at that, but it's the truth.
Chantée Christian:Thank you so much for joining me on my podcast, alice. I just don't know what I would do without you in my life, and I'm so, so, so, so, so appreciative of all the energy that you bring to everything that you do and how you are on this mission to help women curate these lives that they want, and so I just wanna say thank you.
Alex Davis:Thank you, thank you, thank you. This has been great.
Chantée Christian:Thank you for listening to this week's episode of the my Best Shift podcast. I enjoyed talking with Alex about being fully present, all while honoring ourselves. For more information or if you'd like to reach out to us, please visit at mybestshift underscore LLC on Instagram. Remember, stop doing shit that doesn't serve you. See you later.